i've a lot to travel yet....i'm still on the surface of so many things!! i caused a heart ache today, a heart which meant world to me for a very long time, a heart which still means very special to me, a heart which has so much compassion to offer to the world around, a heart which knows nothing but spreading love, a heart which still beats for me in its purest form.

i caused so much hurt - my randomness, worldlessness, my evolution has gotten me in to this...how do i believe it to be right n correct - when i cant accept the fact that even those hearts which felt crazily for me can go on without me...letting go is a problem with me n expect i should be set free.........how selfish of me...how surfaced i feel!!! i'm so annoyed with my ownself....

whatever!!!

what am i here for anyways? most of the times most of us live on the surface of feelings, emotions!!! why do we scare getting deeper in to things...just so that we protect ourselves from the forthcoming scars of the wound when feelings leave us...?? why do"feelings completed"cant be taken as "lived, felt" than "left, wounded"?? i cant understand this. as a matter fact, my small brain tells me that feelings never leave completely, they always have the "touched - made difference" effect...always!!
why do i feel like an alien amongst most places i walk around these days....i almost feel belong to the sense of non-belongingness!! only few of us had formed a nice good system and we exploded, shattered and scattered to form our own systems - leaving me with this deep happily consumed sorrow!!

Horrible...

It is too horrible.....the white in me is blackening and the black is intact....!! grey shade is shining and smiling....capturing....