strange...

Anybody in love, look so beautiful – in pain or in happiness, they look so full of glow, so full of joy, so full of craziness which I adore to the core!!
I feel this very uncomfortable but sweet emotion when I come across a couple in love – I have not understood that it so far – do I feel jealous or amazed – I would not know. I’m strange!!

Another face!!

Whenever any of my loved ones tells me that he or she has met somebody who is just like me, and when he/she tells me that I should meet that person for I would love them equally!! My first reaction will be “no way I’m meeting him/her”….why is that? I wonder a lot, when the connections are widening because of love, I should be happy but I usually am not!! I feel threatened of something which I cant understand – may be fear of losing on competition – but lately, I’ve realized there is no such thing as competition, each of us in our systems have a place which cant be replaced – just appreciating, welcoming the new connections is all we can do – if we despair, then there would be nothing but negative moments which causes disharmony in the system. But again, if that’s what is to happen how can we stop it, as my belief goes, nothing happens here without a cause, so if my anguish, insecurity is here to stay thru which I may be conceived as a negative entity or may be as someone who cant be remembered fondly – then that’s how it will be!! Here how I’m…!!

another u n me..!!

Can't have another me in my own life - but the way "time" works - we grow similar over the years, influence each other in more than many ways - that is when we usually depart ways!!

truth lies here, i cant have another "me" neither do i "want" to have another you...so i'm left with none most of the times!

i've a lot to travel yet....i'm still on the surface of so many things!! i caused a heart ache today, a heart which meant world to me for a very long time, a heart which still means very special to me, a heart which has so much compassion to offer to the world around, a heart which knows nothing but spreading love, a heart which still beats for me in its purest form.

i caused so much hurt - my randomness, worldlessness, my evolution has gotten me in to this...how do i believe it to be right n correct - when i cant accept the fact that even those hearts which felt crazily for me can go on without me...letting go is a problem with me n expect i should be set free.........how selfish of me...how surfaced i feel!!! i'm so annoyed with my ownself....

whatever!!!

what am i here for anyways? most of the times most of us live on the surface of feelings, emotions!!! why do we scare getting deeper in to things...just so that we protect ourselves from the forthcoming scars of the wound when feelings leave us...?? why do"feelings completed"cant be taken as "lived, felt" than "left, wounded"?? i cant understand this. as a matter fact, my small brain tells me that feelings never leave completely, they always have the "touched - made difference" effect...always!!
why do i feel like an alien amongst most places i walk around these days....i almost feel belong to the sense of non-belongingness!! only few of us had formed a nice good system and we exploded, shattered and scattered to form our own systems - leaving me with this deep happily consumed sorrow!!

Horrible...

It is too horrible.....the white in me is blackening and the black is intact....!! grey shade is shining and smiling....capturing....